What is the programme?

How to get clarity about yourself and your relationships.


The Should I Staytm programme is a structured 12-week course on relationship-focused personal development. It’s guided, mentored, and coached by Lucien Stanfield.

The Should I StayTM programme is a personal development programme designed to get you clarity and understanding about yourself in your relationships. Most of those taking part are facing difficult decisions about whether to stay in their relationship or to leave it. This is usually because the relationship or marriage is in dire straits but sometimes it’s more about someone having doubts about their long-term commitment to the relationship.

Some feel exhausted and exasperated by all the miserable arguments. Others feel dreadful from an intense silent war, where intimacy, tenderness, and love have become distant memories. Some people have discovered their partner has been having an extra-marital affaire, and some have found themselves in one.

Questions abound in these situations: Is the relationship save-able? Should I even try? Am I leaving or staying for the right reasons? What’s really going on? What’s wrong with my partner? With me? What do I actually want or need from a relationship? And more…

The programme is structured so that it delivers the results you need to help you change your situation in the best ways possible, whether you stay or whether you decide to “consciously de-couple”.

Although it’s structured, it’s also personal and tailored to you. You have access to the programme for the entire 6 weeks and each week there are two hour-long opportunities for direct contact with me to discuss your situation. You get my knowledge, experience, and expertise.

This isn’t a canned, pre-recorded course. It’s an engaged and interactive personal development programme helping to resolve your relationship situation.

The 5 Pillars of the Should I Staytm Programme

The programme has 5 major sections and each is designed in a specific way to help you solve the biggest problems in your relationship:

Gaining Self Clarity

Understanding Relationships

Mastering Relationship Dynamics

Dispelling Doubt

Achieving a Positive Future

Inside each of these sections is a rich set of solution-focussed exercises, videos, and readings. These are psychologically informed by Emotionally Focussed Therapy and other approaches to relationships with the highest evidenced positive results. (If you would like to know more about Emotionally Focused Therapy, see this link: Intro to EFT) The material I give you is easy to understand and use – it’s not full of jargon and “psycho-babble” – and it forms the basis for your self-development work within the programme.

In addition to the programme content, there are two scheduled hour-long Zoom calls every week for just you and me to discuss your situation.

Before making a decision about whether this coaching style relationship programme is for you, and if I can take you on board as a participant, it’s always great to book a free 45 minute call where we go through your particular situation in-depth to see if I can help you.

I only accept a limited number of clients to work with on this programme and it is extremely important that we feel that we are a good fit for each other.

It’s my passion to help people with their relationships but it always works best when we have similar values and work ethic. During our call, we will get clarity about what you feel you need to sort out in your relationships, what you desire from doing the programme, if I think I can help you to achieve those goals, and if we are a good fit for each other.

Book your call now by clicking the button below

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